Crossovers That Never Happened
by Scribbler
Summary: 30 short crossovers incl. Thundercats, Naruto, Stephanie Plum, Heroes, Cats, Spirited Away, Gargoyles, BtVS, HP, DP, Haibane-Renmei, Sonic, Digimon, MLP, D&D, Vampire Knights, FRIENDS, The Chipmunks, Jonathan Creek, Vicar of Dibley, Futurama & Top Gear.
1. Ten Crossovers That Never Happened

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _YGO_. Neither do I own _Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Harry Potter, Danny Phantom, Haibane-Renmei, Sonic the Hedgehog: SatAM, Digimon, Caroline in the City, My Little Pony, Dungeons and Dragons, _or _Sakura Wars/Sakura Taisen. _Phew.

**A/N:** These were fun. I may write more sometime, workload permitting. Written for the _10 Things That Never Happened to Fill in the Blank Drabble Challenge._

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_**Crossovers That Never Happened**_

© Scribbler, December 2006.

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**Never Been Turned **

_(YGO/B:tVS)_

Buffy cornered the vamp in an alley full of smoking vents.

"Even in New York you guys _always_ go for dead ends. Stupid much?"

The vamp had bazoomas so large she couldn't have rung a doorbell without backing up first. This didn't stop her from lunging at Buffy, fangs bared.

Buffy hurtled into her with a solid punch that laid her flat, then followed this up by sitting on that admirable chest and stabbing a stake into her heart.

"Yuugi!" the vamp whispered as she turned to dust.

"And that's how we do it," Buffy announced to Manhattan's newest Slayer.

* * *

**Never Held a Wand**

_(YGO/Harry Potter)_

"You can't disapperate in school grounds! It's impossible!"

"He's one of Voldemort's!"

"Excuse me, but what the hell?" Yami looked thoroughly confused. He pressed a fingertip against the knobbly stick and shoved it away from his nose. "Aibou?"

Yuugi was rubbing the spot between his eyes. "Yami, usually I'm happy to see you, but your appearance may have just ruined some very delicate negotiations."

Yami took in the ring of robed figures, each brandishing a knobbly stick and an enraged expression. He also noted the way Yuugi was posed against their bespectacled leader, whose stick effervesced.

"Shall I mind-crush them?"

* * *

**Never Grown Wings**

_(YGO/Haibane-Renmei)_

She woke to the scent of dust and other people, an antiquated smell perfectly matching the creaky floorboards and peeling paint.

"What did you dream of?" the dark haired woman asked, pressing a cup of water into her hands. It was cool, soothing her throat but not her mind.

"I … I don't …" she stuttered and paused.

"It's okay," smiled the youngest of the group. "Take your time."

She worked the heel of one hand against her eye. "Peaches. I dreamed I was eating peaches."

The woman nodded. "Then we will call you Anzu, which means 'peach'."

* * *

**Never Been Animals**

_(YGO/Sonic the Hedgehog: SatAM)_

"Our access points are here, here and here." Princess Sally pointed on the map. "We have a three minute window after Sonic shuts down the generator before the auxiliary power kicks in."

"Wonderful," Yami sarcasmed.

She treated him to a sceptical look. "You're sure you can _handle _lookout? It's an important task."

He snorted, tail lashing. He was a hairsbreadth from flattening his ears when Yuugi coughed.

"We'll be in contact through our mind-link. If one of us spots something, the other will know instantly and relay the message."

Sally surveyed the two felines and gave a single curt nod.

* * *

**Never Been Digivolved**

_(YGO/Digimon)_

"We should start a support group for ex-teenage heroes."

"Totally."

Jounouchi swirled his drink around in its cup and took a swig. Yuk; flat as road-kill.

His cohort knocked back the warm soda like it was a tequila shot and propped his chin on his fist. "I once saved the world. Now I'm at the beck and call of a squalling baby."

"Tell me about it. We've been domesticated, man." Jounouchi shook his head. "I told you I was nearly Duel Monsters World Champ, right?"

"Repeatedly." Ken looked around. "Y'know, our credibility isn't helped by meeting in McDonalds."

"Totally."

* * *

**Never Met Ghost Hunters**

_(YGO/Danny Phantom)_

"He should be going into the flask! Why isn't he going into the flask?" Tucker waved it at arm's length. "Danny! Help!"

"Is he mentally stable?" Yami deadpanned, arms folded and expression as close to nonplussed as it was likely to get.

"Um, Tucker - " Sam tried.

"Quick, get the Fenton Fisher! Or one of your dad's other doohickies. C'mon, he's just standing there! Perfect target much?"

"Tucker," Danny soothed, "it's okay. He's on our side."

"Sure, that's why he mind-crunched that dude!"

"Mind-crushed, not crunched," Yami corrected.

Yuugi winced. "We really need to work on your interpersonal skills."

* * *

**Never Been Consulted About Syndication**

_(YGO/Caroline in the City)_

Annie slapped her thigh. "Didn't I tell you she was cute?"

Caroline smiled reassuringly and passed her guest a cup of cocoa. The girl replied with a grateful smile of her own.

"Hey," Annie pouted, "how come she got marshmallows and I didn't?"

"You said you were keeping off the sweets until you got work."

"Well now I'm in work. Make with the floaters!"

Richard paused at his easel. "I didn't just hear that."

Annie stuck out her tongue.

"So, Anzu," Caroline interrupted. "First Broadway show?"

"Yes."

"I'm showing her the ropes," Annie said proudly.

"God help her," Richard punctuated.

* * *

**Never Had Rump Marks**

_(YGO/My Little Pony)_

Serenity looked like she wanted to cover her eyes with her hooves.

Peach gently nosed her. "Don't worry. He'll get tired and stop chasing them in a minute."

"I'm so embarrassed," Serenity murmured. "I can't believe he did it again."

"He just cares about you."

"He couldn't show it with a hug?" Valentine eyeballed the course. "They're making good time, though. They might actually win a rosette."

"I think Duke and Honda might've liked to compete under their own steam," Peach opined.

Valentine shook out her golden mane. "So who's kicking him, you or me?"

"I'll play you for it."

* * *

**Never Fought a Bogbeast**

_(YGO/Dungeons and Dragons)_

Mai's smile was edged as she examined her whip.

"I don't like that expression," said Jounouchi, who hadn't let go of his sword since it appeared in his hands.

"So you've been here … how long?" Anzu boggled.

"I can't really remember an exact number. I stopped counting after the first couple of years," Hank shrugged. He had eighties hair. Not a good sign.

Eric poked the fire with his too-shiny shield. "Word of advice: get good shoes. There's a lot of walking involved. And running. And fighting evil."

Yuugi shuddered, but Yami's eyes gleamed. "I like it here already."

* * *

**Never Been to the Imperial Capitol**

_(YGO/Sakura Wars)_

When she was four years old Daddy took her to see a show at the Rose Theatre for her birthday. They travelled on a tram, a rare treat since at home it was all donkeys and carts.

The women whirled around on stage and sang at the audience with such passion that it brought tears to many eyes. Anzu didn't cry; instead she watched, open-mouthed, spellbound by the beauty of the entire performance.

Waiting for a tram, steam all around them, she told Daddy, "When I grow up, I'm gonna join the Imperial Flower Division and dance just like them.

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**_Fin._**

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	2. Ten More Crossovers That Never Happened

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own _YGO_. In addition, I don't own _Thundercats_, _Naruto_, _Le Portrait de Petit Cossette_, _Stephanie Plum_, _That's So Raven_, _Sorority Boys_, _Heroes_, _Cats the Musical_, _Spirited Away_, or _Gargoyles_.

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_**Ten More Crossovers That Never Happened**_

© Scribbler, August 2007.

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**Never Met Ninjas**

_YGO/Naruto_

Tenten already had a scroll out and a thumb-tip between her teeth when she noticed her opponent wasn't moving. It didn't stop her smearing blood on the parchment, or grabbing the naginata that appeared. However, when he _still _didn't move she paused.

"Come, Tenten!" Lee hooted from the stands. "Show him the strength of youth! I know you, too, can become chuunin this day!"

Neji didn't call, but she saw his mouth tighten and it set her resolve in stone.

She catapulted forward, intending to use the naginata's length to her advantage.

Her Hidden Shadow Village opponent smirked. "Mind Crush."

* * *

**Never Felt the Magic and Heard the Roar**

_YGO/Thundercats_

"You're imagining things, Wilykat."

Wilykat pouted and turned away, arms folded. He wasn't imagining it. He _did_ hear voices last night and they _weren't _just a nightmare. But of course, his twin was scornful of anything she couldn't _prove_ for herself.

Wilykit tapped her foot impatiently. "How could voices know about the source of Mumm-Ra's magic, anyway? They'd have to be thousands of years old."

"I don't know _how_, I just know that they said they're older than Mumm-Ra and could help. All we have to do is find this ring that's buried in some ruins out in the desert…"

* * *

**Never Considered Fine Art**

_YGO/Le Portrait de Petit Cossette_

"This place is creepy."

Yuugi shivered. "But we have to check it out. For Yami."

Anzu squared her shoulders, but still trembled at the antiques shop's palpable malice. Ever since Seto Kaiba took the Millennium Puzzle in a duel and sold it to a dealer to punish Yuugi, they'd trekked from pillar to post searching for their friend.

Jounouchi went first, then Honda. Anzu paused at a slashed portrait, caught by the sad beauty of the subject.

"I'm sorry," said the attendant, "the owner's out today, but we don't usually handle things like that…"

Another dead end.

They moved on.

* * *

**Never Met a Bounty Hunter**

_YGO/Stephanie Plum_

"Don't shoot!"

I grabbed Lula's arm, which may have been dumb but at least stopped her pointing her glock at the idiot.

"Sucker called me fatass," Lula growled. "Usually I'd of popped him for that, but today I'm feeling generous on account of I ain't had no breakfast, plus I don't like shooting chickenshits who play kiddy card games for a living."

I had to admit, the guy was pathetic. Sunglasses at night and an American flag on his head? I was surprised Trenton had let him live this long.

He sniffed back two green rivers. "Don't shoot, and I'll buy you a whole McDonald's breakfast. Each!"

"Damn skippy!"

* * *

**Never Seen the Future**

_YGO/That's So Raven_

Raven inhaled sharply as the vision struck. As usual it was brief and all in soft focus, like some crummy eighties movie while flipping channels at top speed: a green-lit rocky mountainside, fists hitting sandstone, tears plopping.

"_It's not fair! It should've been me!"_

She shook her head, realising belatedly Chelsea was still talking about making the school cafeteria a meat-free zone.

"So I thought, if we could get the tofu into meals without people realising, they'll be rehabilitated - whoa, Raven!"

"No time, Chels. We gotta find those Japanese exchange students before one of them does something really dumb…"

* * *

**Never Met a Recovering Transvestite**

_YGO/Sorority Boys_

Anzu transferred with little fuss, and through one thing and another ended up being looked after by a sorority called Delta Omnicrom Gamma. They were nice girls, quirky and fun, and not one of them perfect. Anzu soon felt so at home there that not going to New York stung less than it used to.

There was one guy who seemed an honorary girl, for all the others bothered about him. He dated the head of the house and they seemed almost symbiotic.

Anzu couldn't figure out why everyone laughed when she asked who wore the pants in the relationship.

* * *

**Never Met a Cheerful Time-Traveller**

_YGO/Heroes_

Hiro grabbed the girl's hand and squeezed his eyes shut. One brief smear of colour and rushing wind later, and they were standing on a rooftop in what looked like Osaka. He also hadn't brought the elaborate death-trap with them.

"I did it!" he yelped triumphantly. If only Ando had seen that – but Ando was still at the scene, hiding behind a metal crate and waiting for Hiro's return.

"What did you do?" she shrilled. "Take me back!"

"I saved you," Hiro replied, bemused.

"My friends are in trouble. Take me back to that dock – right now!"

"But -"

"_Now!_"

* * *

**Never Danced in the Moonlight**

_YGO/Cats the Musical_

"_Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball…"_

They slipped from garbage cans, crawled through window cracks and skimmed over rooftops to reach the dump. There, amongst the flies and abandoned human waste, they enacted a scene older than any of their forebears could remember.

Anzu, known in the daylight hours as Peachy, twined her tail with cats she hadn't seen since last year's Ball and purred gossip.

"New human?"

Otogi covered his face with his paws. "Military enthusiast. Wears epaulettes 24/7. Likes the idea of defending royalty."

"Name?"

"Duke."

"Could be worse." She eyed Yuugi's approach. "You could be another Fluffy."

* * *

**Never Worked in an Onsen **

_YGO/Spirited Away_

"And here's where you'll sleep…"

Anzu clutched her armload of new clothes so hard her knuckles blanched. She was going to kill Jounouchi. She was going to find his big piggy backside and carve it into sausages for not turning back the moment they found that strange archway. Then she'd turn Honda's ears into dog chews, and Yuugi…

She blinked back tears. Yuugi only ate that cursed food because he didn't want to be left out of the guys' fun. Thank goodness her diet saved her so she could save them.

Her grip relaxed fractionally.

_I'll find you_._ Somehow._

* * *

**Never Visited a Castle Above the Clouds**

_YGO/Gargoyles_

"So… how long are you in New York?"

"Only for the Duel Monsters Championship." Mai attempted to sound untroubled about flying over the Empire State minus aeroplane – easier than someone without her history would've found it.

Her fingers still cramped around the creature's neck.

It – he – raised one orange… eyebrow? "I thought I recognised you! Lex watches you on TV all the time."

"Lex?"

"My bro."

"There are more of you?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Oh."

"You took that incredibly well."

"Trust me; living gargoyles aren't the weirdest thing I've ever seen."

"Cool."

She remembered Dartz, the Oricalchos… and Jounouchi. "Not remotely."

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	3. Yet Another Ten Crossovers

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own YGO. Neither do I own _Shadow Skill, F.R.I.E.N.D.S., Vampire Knights, The Vicar of Dibley, The Mediator, Jonathan Creek, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Futurama, __Ginga Nagareboshi Gin_ or_ Top Gear._

**A/N:** Not so much drabbles this time, but still crossovers.

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**Yet Another Ten Crossovers That Never Happened **

© Scribbler, February 2009.

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**Never Met a Sevaar**

_YGO/Shadow Skill_

"Yami, this is a bad idea."

"He's right, Elle. This has 'bad idea' written all over it."

Yuugi regarded the other boy, who was currently trying to hold back the girl in the leotard. The boy seemed powerful even though he wasn't primed for battle like her – there was a wiry strength in his frame that put Yuugi in mind of Jounouchi and Honda. Yuugi caught the boy's eye and recognised the look of someone long-used to holding back the tide of a forceful personality with homicidal tendencies.

"Yuugi," Yami gritted. "Let. Go."

"Leggo, Gau. This arrogant asshole's just _begging_ for an ass-kicking. I don't _care _if he ain't even from this dimension. He's going back to his own in _pieces_."

Yuugi sighed. So did the other boy. Homicidal tendencies indeed.

* * *

**Never Been to Central Perk**

_YGO/F.R.I.E.N.D.S._

Anzu clutched her script. She hated acting. She really, _really_ hated acting, but after so many failed auditions it was either musical theatre or living in a doorway. Off-Off-Broadway wasn't exactly why she'd come to America, but it paid the rent and bulked out her resume.

A fellow cast member edged towards her. He didn't say anything, but she felt him getting closer and closer as the rehearsal progressed. During the dance numbers he had all the grace and poise of a poached salmon, but he could act better than her. Between them they made one all-round performer and one dud.

"Hey," he said during the break. "You new in town?"

"If you can call six months 'new'."

"Six _years _is still new in New York." He smiled. His teeth were pearly and he had not-unattractive crinkles around his eyes that reminded her of Yuugi when he was teaching her to play some new game. "Name's Joey Tribbiani. How you doin'?"

* * *

**Never Attended Boarding School**

_YGO/Vampire Knights_

"I swear allegiance, Kuran-sama." Yuugi ducked his head. "I'll never betray you."

"That," Kaname Kuran said softly, "I have never doubted." His brown eyes shifted to the other figures also genuflecting around him. "I've never doubted any of you, or your loyalty to the purebloods."

"Uh, no," Jounouchi corrected, refusing to be cowed by the angry glances of the Night Class. He didn't even retract his fangs. "Just to you, dude."

"Dude?" For a moment Kaname's eyes flashed blood-red. Then they dimmed and a slow smile spread across his face. "Your bald honesty is refreshing."

Yuugi let out a relived breath. Joining Cross Academy was always going to be difficult without Jounouchi's 'tact' getting involved. Still, it was worth it. He glanced out of the window just in time to see the Day Class's female prefect walking with another girl, who looked similar except for her sky-blue eyes.

_Definitely worth it. _

* * *

**Never Been Mediated**

_YGO/The Mediator_

"Look, I can't very well mediate you across to the other side if you're gonna be so difficult."

"I don't need you to 'mediate' me anywhere! I'm perfectly happy where I am!"

"Cool it. Don't blame the player, blame the game – in this case Mortality Monopoly. You're dead, I'm a Mediator, and I got a hotel on the square your little metal boot just landed on. End of story. Now hurry up and get your-" Suze grabbed the guy's arm. "-completely… non-ghostly butt in the Great… Beyond… Jesse, why can I feel his pulse?"

Jesse sighed. "Perhaps because it is as he says, and he isn't dead?"

"But I'm totally getting the not-alive vibes. And no human being can do what he did with the whole mind-crushing thingy." She frowned. "Maybe I should hit him. If he disappears instead of passing out he's definitely not of this world."

Yami levelled a dark look at Jesse. "Is she always like this?"

"You have no idea."

* * *

**Never Met a Magician's Mechanic**

_YGO/Jonathan Creek_

"Okay," Maddy said in her best wet-as-a-desert tone, "even _you'll_ have trouble explaining _this_ away."

Jonathan rolled his eyes and stepped forward. Then he stopped. His eyes widened briefly, which was anybody else's all-agog face. "Hm. Good one."

"I thought we established once before that 'good one' isn't the best response to this kind of thing."

"That was a murder. This is… something else."

Together they stared out of her flat's window at the man sprawled at the feet of a blonde woman. She brandished a cardboard rectangle into a funnel of green light that arced into the sky.

"Best not to tell Adam," Maddy said after a moment. "He'll want to incorporate it into his magic act. And probably sleep with the scary psycho woman. I'll just ring the police, shall I?"

Jonathan shook his head, not taking his eyes from the drama in the street. "Somehow I think this might be out of their league."

* * *

**Never Wanted a Hula Hoop**

_YGO/Alvin and the Chipmunks_

"I cannot believe you convinced me to do this."

"Seto, you promised you wouldn't make a scene." Mokuba glanced around them, not nervously, because Seto's mere presence was enough to dispel any level of anxiety that he was about to be jumped by another posse of kidnappers, but with a fair approximation of nervous tension that had everything to do with his brother's scowl and the fact he knew Seto disapproved. Strongly.

"That was before I realised the true depths this venture would force me to sink to."

"_Seto_!"

A built-like-a-dump-truck security guard unbelted the velvet rope and gestured them forward. Mokuba came eagerly; Seto less so. Mokuba proffered his autograph book at the next fresh page, just across from Rina Akiyama's signature. Seto proffered only another, deeper scowl.

"Yo," said the tiny chipmunk in the even tinier red hoodie. He grappled with a pen nearly as big as himself, falling on his tail as the other two chipmunks beside him tried to use it simultaneously. "Thanks for buying the new album, kid. You got great taste."

* * *

**Never Been Cryogenically Frozen**

_YGO/Futurama _

"Death to the humans!"

"Are you seriously still saying that?"

Bender turned at the voice and pointed with a theatrical gasp. "As I live and don't breathe, what the hell are you doing back in town?" Then he frowned. "You owe me five bucks, you leech!"

"Look who's talking." Honda flicked his tail and hopped onto the other robot's shoulder. "The last time I saw you was when you were in hock to me for _thirty_ bucks and a crate of beer."

"Details, details. Why should two old friends born in the same factory let petty details cloud their friendship?"

Honda would have rolled his diode eyes if he'd been able. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. I just need you to hook me up with some inventions I know your employer is keeping in his basement."

"Ooh, thievery _and _the wiping of debts. What kind of inventions?"

"The kind that'll stop a magic-green-rock-wielding set of bikers from sucking the souls out of every meat-bag on the planet. I've been hanging with a bunch of humans and I'd like to keep hold of them as they are, which may get ugly if these end-of-the-world bozos get their way."

"Thievery, the wiping of debts _and_ the promise of violence? I love it when you come to town, monkey boy."

* * *

**Never Barked Up the Wrong Tree**

_YGO/__Ginga Nagareboshi Gin_

Yuugi knew he shouldn't wag his tail when Anzu approached, but somehow he couldn't help it. His body betrayed him, so he sat down to conceal how happy he was to see her. It was a vain attempt to try and preserve a smidge of dignity amidst the dogs he was trying to impress. Joining this prestigious pack was more than just lucky, it was an honour, and he wasn't about to embarrass himself by acting like a lovesick puppy.

Anzu sat down beside him and scratched her ear with one hind leg. "They say he killed the Demon Bear Akakabuto with just one bite, even though he's not much bigger than you."

"I know." For once, Yuugi wasn't bothered by his diminutive stature. He was, after all, waiting to see a dog who had overcome the same thing and become one of the most famous pack leaders of all time.

"I heard it was some weird attack only he and his father ever knew," Jounouchi yipped, parking himself on Yuugi's other side and biting at the fleas on his back.

"I heard he's -" Honda began, but fell silent as the clouds parted in front of the moon and a small, silvery Akita with three diagonal scars on his forehead was suddenly revealed on the pinnacle.

The dog surveyed the dogs arranged on the slopes below him. Some had fought alongside him in that legendary battle, while others, like Yuugi and his friends, were outcasts who'd joined because they knew they'd find acceptance here. Te Akita nodded, threw back his head and howled, long and loud.

Yuugi didn't even hesitate in lending his voice to his new leader.

* * *

**Never Been Deep into the English Countryside**

_YGO/The Vicar of Dibley_

"You couldn't just stop and ask for directions," Anzu fumed, stalking along stiff-legged even though her shoes were totally inappropriate for a dirt track. "Nooooo, you had to wait until you'd crashed us into a ditch and _then_ admit you don't have a clue where the hell we are."

"What? _What_? These twisty-turny roads are really confusing." Jounouchi turned to Bakura, the only native amongst them in this land of afternoon tea, crumpets and stiff upper lips.

Not that they'd seen any one of these things so far. All they'd seen were fields, cows, more fields, more cows and the occasional stupid pheasant darting out in front of their rented minivan – like the one that had forced them off the road when Otogi swerved to avoid it.

"Bakura, tell her she's overreacting."

"She's not overreacting," Honda growled, still covered in mud from when he, Yuugi and Bakura had tried to push the minivan out of the ditch that Jounouchi's poor map reading skills had forced them to follow for the past seventeen miles. "You suck, dude."

"Traitor."

"You still suck."

"Need a hand?" They all turned around to see a short, fat woman in dark clothes and a jaunty beret huffing towards them. She braced her hands on her not-inconsiderable thighs and gasped even though she'd barely been trotting along behind them. "Phew. You go at some clip for people doing impressions of Swamp Thing." She straightened and rubbed sweat from her brow with her bunched-up beret. "And you're all _incredibly_ tall, too. Wow. I feel like the Incredible Shrinking Vicar. Still," she added in a lower tone they got the feeling they weren't really supposed to hear, "that puts me at a very nice level for all you young men."

Suddenly a bearded man ran across the track in front of them, preceded by a Friesian that appeared to be wearing stockings and suspenders. And a blindfold. There was also a cigarette sticking out of its lipsticked mouth. The man, conversely, was completely naked except for a running chainsaw in his hands.

"Morning, Vicar," he said conversationally over the roar. "Lovely day, in't it?" He ran off with the air of someone who knew that even the weirdest situation could be made to seem normal if you pretended hard enough.

"Uh…" Jounouchi said, echoing everyone's thoughts.

The fat woman just rolled her eyes. "Don't mind Owen. As long as you're not female or four-legged you're pretty safe. A talent for kicking and a good aim for crotches works if you do happen to be a lady."

"I'm so comforted," Anzu murmured, a sardonic edge to her already bemused and, frankly, disturbed tone.

The woman winked at Otogi and stuck out a hand for him to shake since he was practically the only one not covered in mud. "Name's Geraldine. Welcome to Dibley."

* * *

**Never Met The Stig**

_YGO/Top Gear_

"Are you wearing that for a bet?"

The tallest of the three men looked down at his shirt, which had been embroidered with the image of a giant silver dragon apparently about to spit lightning at his left nipple. "Of course."

The shortest man nodded. "Thought so." He subtly passed the last of their trio a folded up fiver – not subtly enough for the eagle-eyed cameraman to miss it, however. A ripple of laughter went through the studio audience.

The big man turned to another camera. "Now, this week we have a special treat for our viewers. We've had some pretty big stars come onto this stage and talk to me about cars, life and whatever else we deem important. We've had some pretty rich people. And we've had some pretty young people crawl out of their playpens to join us. But never before have we had someone quite as rich, famous and young as my guest tonight. Some say," he added in a mock-confidential tone, "he has looked danger in the face and billed it for using his air. Some say he never sleeps and exists on a diet of caffeine and tenacity. Some say he has an unnatural attachment to squares of cardboard and actually flies around in a jet shaped like a dragon. Whatever they say, he's tonight's Star in a Reasonably Priced Car. Ladies and gentleman; Seto Kaiba!"

No doubt about it, Seto thought as he stepped onto the dais. His latest Head of PR was destined to go the way of all the others who'd encouraged him to 'create a more personable public image' in order to make Kaiba Corp 'appeal to a more international demographic' – straight onto the unemployment register. At great speed. Possibly while on fire.

Although perhaps he'd at least give this one a good reference for her persuasive skills if she'd somehow gotten him to agree to this.

* * *


End file.
